From time to time I’m exposed to reality TV. Because a lot of the ratings are based on dramatic interaction between the characters, you see intense dialogue including advice giving. “Just do the right thing.” “I need the old you back in my life.” “You can do this. Just make it happen.” The striking feature…
Category Archives: Communication
What You Can Do to Prevent Tragedy
In the aftermath of tragedy there is lots of blame, empathy and sympathy, grief and outrage. Much of the news focuses on how sorry everyone is that this happened. How things must change, and how senseless it all is. What can change? But what does that change look like? What can be done, if anything?…
Boundary Obstacles Part II: What to say to overcome them
In the middle of setting a boundary with someone, it can be easy to become distracted or talked out of it. If this happens, knowing HOW to set a boundary becomes pretty useless. As a continuation of Part I, this post gives you specific things you can say for a variety of situations so that…
How to Be Thankful This Holiday Season
What is thankfulness? We all have some idea of what it is. But when we talk about being thankful, what does that mean? What does it look like to “be thankful”? A general “formula” for being thankful Use this for anything you wish to actively be thankful for. Think of one thing you are able…
Boundary Obstacles Part I: What keeps us from setting them
We may know what to do to set a boundary – use “I” statements, be firm but respectful, don’t force a resolution, etc. – but feeling comfortable or justified in doing so is another story. And, as psychology goes, if we aren’t comfortable with something, it is much less likely to happen. This post is…
Supporting a Stuck Friend: Part II
A friend phoned recently. She asked for advice on how to support someone she had known for many years who was struggling and seemed to be stuck. (This is the second part to what I would like to offer. I’ve continued the numbering below from Part I.) She went on to say that she didn’t…
Supporting a Stuck Friend: Part I
I got a phone call from a friend recently. One of her close friends of many years was having a tough time with life, in general, and had been for a while. “I want to be a good friend and support her, but it seems like she’s stuck – she’s been in the same place…
3 Myths of Good Communication
Communication isn’t hard. You just open your mouth, words come out, and others understand what we’re saying, right? Just like anything else, we have some specific ideas about how that should happen if we do a good job of communicating. Below, three common expectations about communication are broken down and explained. A few specific tips…
6 Steps to Healthier Compromise
Our expectations of what others should want can cause problems, especially from those we care about. And when people put these expectations on us, the same problem can occur. Here are 5 ways you can a) help others relax their expectations of what you should want b) do the same for them and c) improve…
5 Ways to Become a Better Communicator
I read a post, recently, of a blogger toting a minimalist, nomadic lifestyle. Her delivery was exaggerated against her principles, and it got me thinking. Some about the delivery of a blog post, but mostly about the ever important, often neglected, “message sent vs. message received” communication issue. (What you say is not always what…