In the aftermath of tragedy there is lots of blame, empathy and sympathy, grief and outrage. Much of the news focuses on how sorry everyone is that this happened. How things must change, and how senseless it all is. What can change? But what does that change look like? What can be done, if anything?…
Category Archives: Acceptance
4 Ways to Make Change Easier
For some of us, getting where we need to go – literally or figuratively – can’t happen fast enough. Just like physically going from place to place, doing so emotionally, mentally, or behaviorally takes time. Here are 4 ways to help you to be patient with yourself while you are making a change. Think of…
Supporting a Stuck Friend: Part II
A friend phoned recently. She asked for advice on how to support someone she had known for many years who was struggling and seemed to be stuck. (This is the second part to what I would like to offer. I’ve continued the numbering below from Part I.) She went on to say that she didn’t…
Supporting a Stuck Friend: Part I
I got a phone call from a friend recently. One of her close friends of many years was having a tough time with life, in general, and had been for a while. “I want to be a good friend and support her, but it seems like she’s stuck – she’s been in the same place…
3 Myths of Good Communication
Communication isn’t hard. You just open your mouth, words come out, and others understand what we’re saying, right? Just like anything else, we have some specific ideas about how that should happen if we do a good job of communicating. Below, three common expectations about communication are broken down and explained. A few specific tips…
6 Steps to Healthier Compromise
Our expectations of what others should want can cause problems, especially from those we care about. And when people put these expectations on us, the same problem can occur. Here are 5 ways you can a) help others relax their expectations of what you should want b) do the same for them and c) improve…
Four Keys to Sustainable Change
While on a trip recently, I had an opportunity to talk with a young man engaged in his new life of sobriety. He said it was difficult in the beginning, which was only two weeks or so ago, but he is learning new ways to live. “The hard part wasn’t staying sober, because I was…
Acceptance Before Action: The Remedy to Giving Up and Avoidance
Acceptance is a funny thing. It’s easy to think that accepting something (for what it is) is the same as giving up. If you consider a situation that just doesn’t seem to have a comfortable resolution, what do we do? Perhaps we distract ourselves from it by doing other things. Or we pretend we don’t…
The Myth of Control: Taming Frustration Through Observation
Feeling frustrated can be thought of as a combination of two things: Expecting to have control + Not having control = Frustration And what do we hear ourselves and others say? “Just make them understand that you don’t have time.” “All you have to do is control your anger.” “Tell her she can’t do that anymore.”…
Four Questions to Better Decision-Making
Have you ever walked into the grocery store to buy toothpaste only to be met with a wall of possible choices? Facing choice overload. Choice overload, in our age of convenience, seems to be all around us. Do I want a shake with that burger? If so, what flavor? Will that be a swirl, or…