From time to time I’m exposed to reality TV. Because a lot of the ratings are based on dramatic interaction between the characters, you see intense dialogue including advice giving. “Just do the right thing.” “I need the old you back in my life.” “You can do this. Just make it happen.” The striking feature…
4 Ways to Balanced Planning
“The best laid plans of mice and men…” as the saying goes. Here are some tips to find a balance between sticking to your plans and being flexible enough to accommodate unseen factors. Pay attention to your natural tendencies. When making plans, sometimes they just don’t happen. Perhaps something comes up or you find yourself…
What You Can Do to Prevent Tragedy
In the aftermath of tragedy there is lots of blame, empathy and sympathy, grief and outrage. Much of the news focuses on how sorry everyone is that this happened. How things must change, and how senseless it all is. What can change? But what does that change look like? What can be done, if anything?…
Boundary Obstacles Part II: What to say to overcome them
In the middle of setting a boundary with someone, it can be easy to become distracted or talked out of it. If this happens, knowing HOW to set a boundary becomes pretty useless. As a continuation of Part I, this post gives you specific things you can say for a variety of situations so that…
How to Be Thankful This Holiday Season
What is thankfulness? We all have some idea of what it is. But when we talk about being thankful, what does that mean? What does it look like to “be thankful”? A general “formula” for being thankful Use this for anything you wish to actively be thankful for. Think of one thing you are able…
Boundary Obstacles Part I: What keeps us from setting them
We may know what to do to set a boundary – use “I” statements, be firm but respectful, don’t force a resolution, etc. – but feeling comfortable or justified in doing so is another story. And, as psychology goes, if we aren’t comfortable with something, it is much less likely to happen. This post is…
4 Ways to Make Change Easier
For some of us, getting where we need to go – literally or figuratively – can’t happen fast enough. Just like physically going from place to place, doing so emotionally, mentally, or behaviorally takes time. Here are 4 ways to help you to be patient with yourself while you are making a change. Think of…
Supporting a Stuck Friend: Part II
A friend phoned recently. She asked for advice on how to support someone she had known for many years who was struggling and seemed to be stuck. (This is the second part to what I would like to offer. I’ve continued the numbering below from Part I.) She went on to say that she didn’t…
Supporting a Stuck Friend: Part I
I got a phone call from a friend recently. One of her close friends of many years was having a tough time with life, in general, and had been for a while. “I want to be a good friend and support her, but it seems like she’s stuck – she’s been in the same place…
Moving Forward (With a Plan) With Confidence
If you’ve ever found yourself re-perfecting a plan over and over or feeling worn out before you even get started on a project, you’re not alone. This is a “How To” for those of us that could use a little nudge to move forward. Take time (but not too much) to think it through. Break…